Lost and Alone
by wingweever
Summary: Sora winds up living with Leon. But he longs for Riku, who turned to darkness. So when Leon owes him a favor, they go to find him. But will Riku accept him now? Or will Sora turn to the love Leon is willing to give? LEMON SONGFIC
1. The beginning of the end

(a/n: this is set BEFORE KH2)

**Lost and Alone **

Sora walked slowly down the lonely streets of traverse town, his shoes making soft sounds against the light stone walkways, the familiar people with the faces that he forgot years ago greeting him with a hero's welcome that he no longer cared for. His heart left this place long ago, no longer smiling at the faces around him, they left with everyone else. Kairi remained on the Islands, now older, as a teacher of the true history of the worlds. Aerith and cloud moved to the outskirts of Hallow Bastion where a small base camp had been set up to monitor heartless activities. He now stayed in Traverse town, as a protector of the peace, not that they needed one, for no one had seen a heartless since he sealed the Door to Light. He sighed, he was lonely but never alone. He walked into the small shop that housed new equipment, elixirs and many Gummi parts, and Cid nodded to him. Hewey, Dewey and Lewey were running about moving out boxes, chasing each other. Sora smiled at them, gave them a small wave and headed up the stairs, up to the top of the small building, to a room that he shared with Leon. He wasn't sure what came across his mind the moment Leon asked him to move in together, but he saw the look Leon had given him and agreed. He didn't know that the look of loneliness that Leon had was not over the lack of communication with Aerith and Cloud, but a deep longing to be loved, a feeling which the dark haired man had not felt for a long time.

Sora plopped onto the large bed that sat in the middle of the room, it wasn't his, but Leon never did mind when he fell asleep on his bed. Sora turned in the direction of the bathroom, hearing the shower on, and sighed. He heard the usual humming that came from Leon when he was contently taking a shower, and even though he seemed solemn a lot, Sora new that ever since he moved in Leon had been much more happy…though you were never have guessed.

He looked around, and his face contorted at the memories that he had with the people who were once here. It had been years since he had seen his companions. His heart ached to see them…Yufie, Selphie, Wakka, Tidus, Aeris, Kairi…he knew he was missed as much as he missed them, but he could not bear to see them. He wouldn't be able to leave, not with the memories of what happened so long ago to all of them still so fresh in his mind. Even though he missed them all so much, he missed one more greater than anything…Riku. His heart ached, and he knew the feeling that made this twinge of pain rise again. He had noticed it long ago, on the island, after his silver-haired friend would hug him, all he could do was smile. He knew that he loved riku, but he had never been able to tell him. One day, he knew he would find him. He just needed a clue to where he might be.

Suddenly he felt a wet hand rest on his shoulders. He jerked around to see Leon, in his tight black jeans. Leon looked down at him, his blue eyes still holding that look that could force even the happiest of souls to see the darkness in their own heart. Leon let go and moved away, reaching into his dresser next to the bed to pull out a white shirt and slip it over his well muscled torso. He let his eyes drift back over to Sora, who now sat up on the edge of the bed, his hand rubbing over his face as if he had just woken up and he was still groggy.

_**The moments of happiness . . .  
We had the experience but missed the meaning  
And approach to the meaning restores the experience  
In a different form, beyond any meaning  
We can assign to happiness . . .**_

"Sora….are you ok?"

"I'm fine Leon….really."

"You sure?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

Leon just let his worried look slip away, and he let his hands slip into his pockets. He turned toward the large glass doors that lead to the balcony, and stared out for the longest time, silent as usual. After what seemed like ages and Sora had gotten up and walked closer to him, Leon turned to him and asked,

"What do you want for dinner?"

Sora jumped, a little startled.

"Um, I don't care, whatever you want."

Leon nodded, and walked into the kitchenette, the sounds of pans and knives began to resonate through the small apartment, the smell of fried noodles wafting through the air. Sora plopped his worn body back on the bed, pulling himself under the sheets, and letting his eyes close. He had slipped into sleep, his body tossing and turning as nightmares of Riku ran through his head.

He saw Riku's body, turned from him, sorrow etched in his features. Sora reached a hand to him, darkness creeping up Riku's body, he screamed his name, but Riku just gave a wicked smile and sunk into the darkness. He screamed, but felt his body being shaken, his eyes snapped open to see a very worried Leon looking down at him. He took in a deep breath, noticing the sheets tangled around him, a cold sweat had swept over him. Leon brushed a stray brown strand away from Sora's face.

"You ok Sora?"

Sora took in a deep gulp, looking around, hoping that maybe all of it wasn't a dream, that he could look onto the balcony and Riku would be standing there. He wasn't, and Sora let himself sigh achingly.

"Sora?"

Sora looked back to Leon, nodding slightly.

"I guess I'm fine…."

Leon's eyes cast downward as he let himself sit next to Sora on the large bed. He let his elbows rest on his knees and began to prop up his head with his hands.

Sora looked down, he knew Leon knew, but Leon would never say anything. Leon had similar dreams, he sometimes would hear him scream at night, though he was never sure who they are about, Leon wasn't very talkative.

"I know the pain Sora, but one day…you may forget."

Sora looked at Leon, his eyes filled with a tinge of hurt.

"I don't want to forget. I just…I wish he would come back."

Tears streamed down Sora's still childish features.

Sora broke down, his body falling onto Leon's, tears overflowing his sapphire eyes. Leon's eyes seemed to hold a great shadow as he watched Sora cry, and his hand shakily reached over to embrace his young friend.

"He has to come back…..he…"

He let Sora cry, but he knew he could do nothing to comfort his torment. The boy in his arms was slowly killing Leon with every tear shed for the man who had forgotten Sora's existence.

___**The past experience revived in the meaning  
Is not the experience of one life only  
But of many generations - not forgetting  
Something that is probably quite ineffable**_

Leon laid Sora back down, covering him in the sheets. He brushed a few more of those earth brown strands away from Sora's sleeping face. He sighed, getting up and walking over to Sora's own twin size bed, shutting off the lights, he fell into a sleep.

He heard a sound, and Leon opened his eyes and jumped out of bed. It was still very dark, a little past midnight. He looked over to see an empty bed, but when he felt a gentle breeze going across his face, realization set in, and he calmed down. He walked to the open balcony doors, watching in the shadows as heard Sora's angelic voice, and those beautiful moonlit eyes staring up into the stars. He smiled, but it was filled with a loneliness that could never be filled the way he wished.

_**Moonlight, turn your face to the moonlight  
Let your memory lead you  
Open up, enter in  
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is  
Then a new life will begin**_

Walking out on the balcony with great stealth, he wrapped his arms around Sora, who nearly jumped out of his skin. He craned his head around to see the sad smiled plastered on his face.

"You startled me."

"Sorry."

Sora turned his head back to stare at the full moon that hung low in the sky. They stood there in silence for more than a few minutes, and Leon regretfully let his arms drop away from Sora.

"Where do you think he is?"

Leon looked down at his younger friend, who still stared into the heavens. Leon sighed; he didn't want to lie to his already betrayed friend.

"Creating plans to rebuild the heartless army and revive Ansem…"

Sora turned to look deeply into Leon's eyes.

"Do you think he is thinking of me? Do you think he misses me?" He looked back out into the heavens.

"If he did not, then he is no longer Riku."

Sora nodded.

"Sora, I…"

Leon saw him in this light, the pale light of the moon sparkling of Sora's white flesh, his eyes glowing like stars…he could no longer resist. He turned his Sora's head toward him and leaned close to his lips.

"Forgive me" he whispered.

Suddenly Sora's lips were warm, and Leon was holding him and a loving embrace. The kiss was short and when he was finished he stalked back in through the open doors. Sora stood stunned for a moment, but he quickly followed Leon. He found him in the kitchen, pulling multiple bottles out of the cupboard.

"Leon."

He didn't answer, and he grabbed a glass from the washboard. Sora moved closer to him.

"Leon…I'm not mad, really."

Leon looked down at him, then grabbed another glass from the washboard, took all the bottles and glasses, and moved to the small round table at the end of the kitchen. He plopped himself into a seat and opened multiple bottles and began to pour them into his glass, draining them quickly.

"Leon, this isn't a good idea."

Leon only gave him a look, then poured a few things into the other glass and set it close to the edge of the table…and Sora took the hint. If he wanted to talk to him about this problem he was going to have to do it on Leon's terms. Sora sat down in front of Leon at the table and took the glass into his hand and sniffed the contents.

"What is this stuff?"

"Corkscrew."

He took a small sip of it and gagged.

Leon couldn't help but let out a small laugh. He took the glass from Sora's hand and downed the contents himself. He poured a few different things into the glass and handed it back to Sora.

"What's this?"

"Mind meld."

This process of trying drinks lasted about a half an hour before Sora began to feel a little dizzy. Finally Leon handed him a warm mug, though he never realized that he had ever gotten out of his chair.

"Try this."

"whas it?"

Leon laughed.

"Hot tatty…it will help you relax some."

With a reluctant face, he sighed, and took a sip. Unlike the other drinks, this one actually tasted good, a mix of spices and warm cider, he couldn't taste any alcohol.

"This's good." Sora slurred, not realizing his speech impairment yet.

"Good."

"Leon…why'd you…ya know."

Leon looked at him and sighed.

"I'm sorry about that Sora." He downed another glass.

"I didn't mean anything by it."

"Then why'd ya do it?"

"I…"

"Leon…When you have bad dreams at night, who are you dreaming about?"

Leon had the best dear in the headlights look, which for some odd reason, Sora found cute at this moment.

"Sora…"

"Who? Are they about Aerith?"

"No…"

"Do you dream of Riku too?"

Leon sighed again, and took another shot, then set down his glass.

"I dream of you Sora."

Sora's eyes went wide, but he couldn't help but feel warm inside that he was loved by someone. He smiled, and took the last sip of his drink. Before he could set down the glass, Leon quickly made him another one, and Sora smiled.

"You always take care of me Leon."

Leon made himself a drink and downed the whole glass in one gulp, and continued on like this. He no longer spoke to Sora, and they just continued to drink. The drink flowed for hours, and finally Sora found himself laying on the table.

"Leon…I'm so warm."

"you drank to much."

Sora suddenly shook.

"You ok?"

"chill…"he said as he moved close to Leon and placed himself on his lap.

"Keep me warm." He said.

Leon blushed but pulled him closer and whispered in his ear.

"As you wish."

Leon slowly lifted Sora, and carried him to the large bed. He kissed down his neck slowly, touching gently. Sora moaned and whimpered, but nothing he did was to stop Leon, and Leon could not stop himself now.

_**Moonlight, turn your face to the moonlight  
Let your memory lead you  
Open up, enter in  
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is  
Then a new life will begin**_

Sora slowly lifted out of his peaceful sleep, warmth surrounding him. He smiled, it was so warm. Suddenly the warmth moved, and moaned. Sora's eyes snapped open to see a sleeping Leon. He jumped back….

"Oh god, oh god, oh god……what did I do!?"

Leon woke to see Sora running about grabbing clothes that littered the floor, tossing them on as he ran about. Leon sat up slowly, watching him. He stood up, and just as Sora ran within his distance, he grabbed his arm gently, yet firm enough so that he could not break free. He pulled him close, ignoring the protests, and pushed his face close enough to Sora, ignoring the blush spreading across the young teens face.

"Relax."

Sora took a deep breath, and Leon moved and sat Sora down on the bed. He kneeled down in front of him.

"What happened was not your fault. It was mine, I should not have given you those drinks."

"Leon, did….did we?"

Leon looked away…

"Yeah. I'm sorry Sora, I didn't mean to hurt you."

Sora couldn't hold back the few tears that streamed down his face. Leon stood up and pulled Sora close.

"Forgive me…I loved you for so long, I could not hold back any longer. I will make this up to you, I swear."

Sora sniffled, and pulled away, laying down on the bed and pulling the sheets around him.

"Please Sora, I am so sorry."

"Help me…"

Leon looked at him quizzically.

"Help me find Riku."

Leon's face contorted in emotional pain, and he was so glad Sora could not see him.

"Of course…"

"If we….If we don't find him in one year, or if tells me he will not take me…I will love you."

Leon understood. He could never replace Riku…but Sora would let him love him, Leon still hurt, but he knew Sora may learn to love him.

_**Daylight  
See the dew on the sunflower  
And a rose that is fading  
Roses whither away  
Like the sunflower  
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn  
I am waiting for the day . . .**_

**7 hours later……**

Both of the young boys collapsed onto one bed with an exasperated sigh. Leon rolled over to face the youth, and gave him his so famous blank expression.

"You know Sora…we might not find him….."

Leon watched Sora's eyes grow dark and dim.

"I know…."

"Thank you Leon…."

"For what?"

"For helping me….and…"

Leon leaned over and gave Sora a kiss on the cheek, then turned over and fell asleep.

_**Midnight  
Not a sound from the pavement  
Has the moon lost her memory?  
She is smiling alone  
In the lamplight  
The withered leaves collect at my feet  
And the wind begins to moan.**_

Sora heard a knock on the door, and he got up quickly and ran to the door. Opening it he saw Cid on the other side, handing him a key, he left. Sora turned back to see Leon sleeping.

Walking over to Leon's sleeping figure, he gently nudged him.

"Come on…..time to go…..Cid has the Gummy ready…."

"Mm…"

Sora giggled, leaning down he whispered into Leon's ear.

"No….now…"

Leon opened an eye, and got up, groaning in the process. If Leon loved anything more than drinks, it was sleep (though Sora still topped that list).

Leon rolled his feet onto the floor and opened his dresser drawers, his eyes half lidded. Sora laughed and grabbed him some fresh clothes. Leon nodded in his direction as a generic thank you, and began to undress. Sora couldn't help but blush and look away. His eyes glancing back to capture a glimpse of the smooth flesh rippling over muscles.

**1 hour later……**

Leon sat at the captains' chair on the gummy, Sora walking around putting things in there places.

"Where are we going to look first Sora?"

Sora looked down, deep in thought.

"Hallow Bastion."

Leon nodded…


	2. Gummy

_**Memory  
All alone in the moonlight  
I can smile at the old days  
I was beautiful then  
I remember the time I knew what happiness was  
Let the memory live again.**_

Leon only nodded; he knew Riku would most likely be found there, if anywhere in the world. He sighed at the thought, if Sora found Riku…that he would have to give him up, never to come back to him and to never receive his love in any form.

Yet he couldn't help but smile sadly, all he wanted was for Sora to be happy again, like he was before they met. He heard the stories of them on the island, the laughter that came from Sora. He wanted desperately just to see Sora smiling and happy like he was then, to see a true smile grace those lips unlike any he had seen before.

A gentle hand on his shoulder brought his thoughts back to the reality of the situation. They were leaving to find Riku…he spun around in his chair and looked up to see Sora smiling down at him. He gave a friendly smile in return, trying his hardest to cover up his sorrow. Leon pushed a few button buttons and stood, stretching his aching muscles.

"We are in a well flown part of space right now, so I put it on auto…why don't I make us some food, we missed breakfast."

Sora nodded just as his stomach growled, and they both burst into laughter. Leon walked into the small kitchen quarters and began pulling out different ingrediants from the cupboard, setting them down on the counter, and began cooking, not even turning to the brunette watching him. Sora stealthily moved closer and stood behind him but lean knew he was there.

"Need help?" He asked quietly.

Leon Stood still for a moment, setting the spoon down into the bowl. He turned to look down at him and smiled slightly, one of those small Leon smiles.

"No thanks, I'm ok."

He turned back toward the counter, and grabbed the spoon out of the bowl and continued his stirring.

"Not much to do really…maybe you should go take a nap, I'll wake you when I finish. Okay?" He added at the hurt he felt emanating off Sora.

"Okay." Sora said with a yawn. "I guess I didn't sleep to much last night."

Sora sighed and walked off to the small bedroom, and with a gentle push closed the door behind him and found himself looking at the single bed. His face showed a little worry as he looked behind him at the closed door, but he simply shrugged out of his jacket and kicked off his shoes. He needed to trust Leon. He jumped into the queen sized bed and covered himself up with a large white sheet. His eyes fluttered closed and he let himself drift into a peaceful sleep.

"Sora…….."

Sora stirred, but the noise was followed by a click, and some padding...he knew what it was.

"Sora….." the voice repeated.

Slowly he opened his eyes, blinking at the glaring, light to see Leon hovering over him.

"Foods done." He said and patted Sora on the head.

Sora nodded and stretched, his his arms only stopping once they wacked the wall with a thud.

"Ow." He quickly pulled his hands back and sighed. He let his feet slide off the side of the bed as he sat up. Looking off the bed, he simply stood and left, forgetting his shoes and coat unceremoniously on the floor. Leon just nodded and left room, leaving the door open as he went. Sora followed, and plopped himself down in the wooden chair on the left side of the small wooden table.

Sora looked at the food set before him, his eyes shimmered like a child.

"Wow Leon!!! It looks so good!!"

"Thanks."

Sora reached forward and startled filling his plate, Leon doing the same, but in a slower motion. Leon laughed as he watched his smaller friend fill himself with food.

"Slow down or you'll get sick."

"But it all tastes so good!!"

Leon smiled at the comment and continued watching Sora eat his way into an early grave. The rest of the ride was smooth and slow, and they felt little need to talk to much about what was happening, but dinner followed similar to breakfast, with Sora stuffing his face on Leon's food.

After gorging himself, Sora shuffled back into the small room and started changing into set of clean pajamas. Leon smiled, and watched him out of the corner of his eye as he changed his own clothes. Sora grumbled as he finished and plopped down on the bed, wearing a baggy pair of pants and a loose fitting t-shirt…there was no point in his magical clothing anymore, they had no use.

"When will we be there?"

"In the morning I suppose, if everything is smooth out that is."

"Ok"

Sora positioned himself under the blankets and turned over on his side, then closed his eyes as he felt Leon climb into bed next to him. Sora held his breath momentarily, knowing he didn't want Leon to get too caught up with him. He couldn't let Leon hurt too much over Sora, he knew how this would end. He knew when he found Riku that even if he had to join the darkness…he would for Riku.

Leon smiled, his arm drifting like a ghost over Sora, his hand resting on the side of Sora's stomach. Sora gasped lightly, but Leon didn't take his arm away, only let it completely rest there with its weight pushing down on Sora.

"Don't worry…I understand…you love Riku, and I shouldn't have done what I did before."

"It wasn't entirely your fault...i suppose I just wanted to."

Leon smiled as he interrupted.

"It's ok, I understand. I suppose that's all I needed too. Thank you…for….everything Sora…I feel as if I owe you the world…"

"You don't owe me anything…but your help and company is nice."

Leon Just nodded and laid his head against the pillow, and allowed himself to drift off to sleep. Until he felt Sora move closer to him.

"Is this ok?"

Sora felt his face grow warm, and he wished that he wasn't hurting Leon in any way, but he needed the comfort.

"yes…."

Leon drifted into a deep sleep quickly, and Sora followed close after.

_**BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!**_

Leon jumped out of bed, darkness still surrounding Him. Sora sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes.

"S'that, Leon?"

Leon moved swiftly to the control panel, flipping a few switches and a visual came onto the screen. They had reached their destination earlier than they expected. Leon turned to Sora, whose face was filled with so many emotions…but the one he saw the most was…hope.


End file.
